{"id":4411,"date":"2020-06-04T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-06-04T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sonusbenefits.com\/four-things-to-do-before-your-write-that-retort\/"},"modified":"2020-06-04T18:33:21","modified_gmt":"2020-06-04T18:33:21","slug":"four-things-to-do-before-your-write-that-retort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonusbenefits.com\/four-things-to-do-before-your-write-that-retort\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Things to Do Before You Write That Retort"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all been there. A coworker, a client, a manager, an employee, a parent, a friend, a colleague has done something that really ticked you off. They forgot an important deadline, messed with your project, or ignored your request.<\/p>\n

And now you\u2019ve got a huge email written out that might contain some words in all caps, a few exclamation points, and maybe a couple ultimatums. Or maybe, if you\u2019re a little quieter, you left out your usual happy exclamation points, word softeners, and cheery salutations. Your finger is hovering over send, but before you jump down the rabbit hole, there are a few things you should do first.<\/p>\n

1. Take a breath<\/h3>\n

It may be obvious, but that doesn\u2019t make it easy. When we\u2019re angry, it\u2019s easy to react in one of two ways: passive aggression and open aggression. Passive aggression usually comes from those who don\u2019t like or fear confrontation. We\u2019re all familiar with the one-word response to a long email: the dreaded \u201cOk\u201d devoid of punctuation and supporting language.<\/p>\n

Open aggression is a result of anger unleashed without restraint in an attempt to hurt or halt someone else. Open aggression often comes in the form of sarcasm, blaming, shouting, or name-calling.<\/p>\n

While they may be satisfying in the moment, neither of those responses will help you in the long run. What you want to be aiming for is assertion, not aggression. A message that is clear, thought out, direct, measured, and open-minded.<\/p>\n

2. Decide on a goal<\/h3>\n

If you want your response to make a difference, then you need to clarify what you\u2019re hoping to get out of it. Do you want the person to change their behavior, or\u00a0just\u00a0understand and appreciate why you\u2019re frustrated? Do you want to change how things are going forward? Do you want an apology or an explanation?<\/p>\n

Define your goal and then integrate that intention into your response. This will help you identify what you want and guide you in finding a solution. It will also create an opportunity for closure. Once your defined need\/goal is met or addressed, you\u2019ll have an easier time moving on. No one likes to hold grudges. Or at least they shouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u00a03. Look at the bigger picture<\/h3>\n

Sometimes widening your perspective can be the best thing for a relationship. Take the time to ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n